


all of the dreams that get harder, all of the things that I offer you

by anbethmarie



Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: 500 kudos??? I know the taste of success now i guess :D, Denial of Feelings, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Marriage Proposal, because i dislike making gilbert miserable, gilbert is the absolute best, jealous gilbert, miserable anne, multiple proposals in fact, they quarrel less than you'd expect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-23 18:46:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15612609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anbethmarie/pseuds/anbethmarie
Summary: Anne receives proposals of marriage from various and undesirable quarters. Gilbert Blythe naturally happens to stumble upon her immediately afterwards every time.Inspired by a tumblr post about how Gilbert only realises he needs to tell Anne about his feelings for her once she starts receiving proposals of marriage from basically every other man in Avonlea.





	1. proposal 1

Anne Shirley-Cuthbert often wondered whether there would eventually come a day when the things sent to try her would simply prove too much and she would just go mad once and for all. It seemed hardly fair to be subjected to trial after trial of patience, not the less so because, having recently arrived at the mature age of nineteen, she had learnt to control, at least to a certain degree, her fiery temper. Still, there were times when it flashed out with full force, times when it seemed to her that she was being goaded beyond the limits of human endurance. 

One of those times was this very afternoon. It was three o’clock, and Anne had just finished her chores around the house. Outside, it seemed to her, was one of the most beautiful July afternoons she had ever seen. Everything was golden sunlight and chequered, cool green shadows. She was just about to don her hat and go spend a little quiet time alone reading by the brook in the rear of Mr Berry’s orchard, when she heard a loud knock at the door. 

It was, of all people, Billy Andrews. 

More unbelievably still, it was Billy Andrews come to propose to her.

Anne groaned and hid her face in her hands. What unknown, terrible sins had she committed in her previous existence to deserve such a humiliation? Her first proposal of marriage to come from, of all hateful people, the very boy who had for so long led the way in tormenting her, back when she had been just a little girl, straight from the orphanage and surrounded by so many unfriendly souls! 

Naturally, Anne said “no” even before he had done saying his part. She had given him to understand she could never forget the cruel things he had done in the past simply because she had grown a little less homely and obnoxious and he a little less selfish and aggressive than before. 

But there was no hiding the fact that it was one more childhood dream gone wasted. 

‘Hateful, conceited, spoiled brat!’ cried Anne with hot, angry tears in her eyes. ‘Oh, I wish I had never been born! I believe I shall never be able to stop thinking about how humiliating this was! Ugh!’ she struck the fallen trunk on which she was seated with her fists.

‘Why so aggressive? That’s not like you at all, Anne Shirley,’ remarked an all-too-familiar voice behind her. Anne groaned internally. Why did he, of all people, have to show up here, of all places, right now? 

‘Go away, Gilbert,’ she snapped, hiding her face in her hands again. ‘Find someone else to tease today. I am already on the ground, it will be no fun kicking me.’

‘What on earth happened, Anne?’ he came up to her and she looked up at him from between her fingers. He was smiling, but there was a small crease between his brows which, she knew, designated worry.

‘Nothing. Except another one of my childhood dreams has been smashed to the ground and trampled upon.’ She lowered her hands and looked up at him ruefully. ‘I suppose the world just doesn’t want me to experience true romance. I love it so much, but it seems the feeling isn’t reciprocated,’ she laughed bitterly. 

‘What are you talking about?’ Gilbert took his hands out of his pockets and sat down beside her. 

‘I won’t tell you. You’d never stop rubbing it in.’

‘You know I never tease you about things that really matter,’ he replied calmly. ‘So don’t talk as though you believed that I enjoy making you miserable. I don’t, and you know that.’ There was a serious note in his voice that made Anne bend down and pluck at the long blades of grass at their feet so as to make it impossible for him to look at her so intensely.

She sighed. ‘It’s not that I don’t know it, Gil. I do, truly. It’s just that... Ugh.’ she groaned again, remembering the smug look on Billy’s face. 

Gilbert pulled her up by the elbow to a sitting position, and proceeded to place one hand on her shoulder and the other over his heart.

‘I swear I won’t laugh, and I won’t even comment on what you tell me if you don’t wish it. But I do believe you should tell someone about it and not keep it all bottled in – and I happen to be handy at the moment.’ He ginned rakishly. ‘Really, Anne, just out with it. It can’t be as bad as all that.’

‘It’s much worse than all that,’ she replied, folding her arms across her chest protectively. ‘I don’t believe I shall ever want anyone to propose to me again!’

‘Pro...pose?’ Gilbert stammered uncomprehendingly. The utter bewilderment on his face was so comical it made Anne giggle against her will.

‘You should see your face, Gilbert Blythe. I see it’s really difficult for you to connect the concept of a proposal of marriage with me.’ She frowned as she uttered the words, Billy’s voice ringing in her ears.

‘Someone proposed... to you?’ 

Anne glared at him. ‘Really, Gilbert, it’s hardly manners on your part to act so shocked. I realise I am not perfect wife material, but when you behave as though a proposal was the least likely thing in the universe to happen to me I find it rather offending.’ 

‘Who... who was it?’ his voice was steadier now, but he still looked as dumbstruck as if she had told him she was going to drop out of college and join a circus.

‘Someone who ought to have known better, considering his past actions!’ replied Anne with vehemence, her anger coming back tenfold. ‘But, apparently, anything ought to be good enough for me. Orphans can’t really afford to be choosers, can we? Perhaps I should have accepted, considering how he was probably right in saying I can hardly expect another chance to become a respectable wife to come my way anytime soon.’ She felt the angry tears gather in her eyes again and sniffed impatiently, trying to blink them away.

‘Anne, you know none of what you’ve just said is true,’ Gilbert took her hand in both of his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He didn’t look so shocked anymore, only very much concerned. There was what sounded like an angry – or perhaps annoyed – note in his voice.

‘Billy Andrews seems to think it is,’ she replied quietly, looking down at their connected hands. 

‘Billy Andrews?’ Gilbert drew himself up in surprise, letting go of Anne’s hand. She tried not to think about how much she missed the warmth of his skin on hers.

‘Yes,’ she laughed nervously. ‘Of all people. It really isn’t pleasant for me to think that my first – and perhaps only – proposal came from someone who used to call me a dirty dog, and because of whom I used to cry myself to sleep at night.’

They were both silent for a moment, and when Anne looked up at Gilbert again she saw that he was staring in front of him with unblinking eyes, his jaw clenched. When he realised she was watching him his face relaxed, and he gave her a crooked smile. 

‘Want to see something?’ he asked, getting up and offering her his hand. She signed in feigned exasperation. In reality, she was glad to let the subject drop; that might be by far the best thing to do. Still, sharing the whole shameful affair with someone – with Gilbert – seemed to have helped. She didn’t feel quite so desperately crushed down as before.

Perhaps there was some romance in store for her somewhere after all, she thought as she stumbled after him through the tangled shrubs which grew beyond the boundary of Mr Barry’s land.

After about ten minutes of the somewhat wearisome way Gilbert turned to her with a radiant smile on his face. At the moment, with his dark curls all mussed up and his eyes crinkled at the corners as he looked at her over his shoulder, he looked so... well, so very much the Gilbert she liked best that her heart seemed to swell up a little. She smiled back at him her first genuine smile since the three o’clock disaster.

‘That’s more like it, miss Shirley,’ he chuckled quietly, giving her hand another squeeze and, to her regret, dropping it. He moved a little to the side, and gestured towards where she could see the tangled bushes end in a little clearing. ‘After you,’ he added, winking at her.

She stepped gingerly forward and gasped in amazement. The trees surrounding the little clearing were all grown over with white and pink convolvulus, and the effect was that of a small fairy-tale kingdom.

‘It’s just like something out of a dream, Gil,’ she whispered, looking around her in wonder. 

‘I thought you’d like it as soon as I stumbled upon it.’ He stood by her side, squinting up at the azure patches of the sky that showed overhead. 

‘Stumbled upon it?’ she quirked an eyebrow at him. ‘How do you just stumble upon something hidden in the middle of a veritable tangle of bushes?’

‘I roam around sometimes,’ his said, stretching out his arms awkwardly. ‘When Bash gets on my nerves, or when he and Mary get so soppy it’s difficult for a third party to watch.’

‘It must be wonderful, being so very much in love with the person you’re married to. I really do envy Mary a bit. Bash is head over heels in love with her.’ Anne’s voice was thoughtful. ‘I suppose it must have been terrifically romantic when he proposed to her.’

‘It wasn’t really. Or perhaps it was,’ he amended, thinking about the way Bash didn’t even stop to second-guess his decision to marry Mary after he had learnt she had a son ‘out of wedlock’. 

‘Did he let her know it was she and only she that he cared about, not her looks or her worldly possessions or... I don’t know, her cooking?’ Anne’s eyes were wide and shining as she looked up into his face.

‘Yes,’ he smiled, absent-mindedly putting out his hand to brush a stray lock of coppery hair from her forehead. ‘I think he made it quite clear that he disregarded all such secondary matters.’

They stood still for a few seconds, gazing into each other’s eyes. Eventually, Gilbert opened his mouth to say something, but before he could Anne took a sharp breath and remarked, looking away from him,

‘It’s getting late. I hate to leave here, but I practically bolted out of the house without telling anyone where I was going, and Marilla may get worried about me.’

‘Sure,’ he said, moving the branches aside so that she could step back into the tangled bushes. To her regret, he made no move to take her hand this time.

When they were back within the confines of Mr Berry’s orchard, Gilbert looked at her calm face with a smile. 

‘Have I helped?’ he asked, his tone a mixture between the serious and the casual.

‘You know you have, Gil,’ Anne replied, smiling up at him gratefully. ‘I really was a fool to fret so much over this whole foolish business. Marilla is right, I am vain. Though how I manage it despite being so plain, I have no idea,’ she sighed, putting her hat, which she had left by the fallen tree trunk, back on. ‘After all, my childhood dreams about what a proposal ought to look like were doomed to be confuted one way or another. It’s better to have got it over with so early. At least no one will be able to say I’m an old maid because no one has ever wanted to marry me.’ She looked back up to see Gilbert regarding her with an unreadable expression.

‘Is there something wrong with my hat?’ she asked stupidly, suddenly unnerved.

He shook his head, blinking rapidly. ‘No, it’s perfectly fine. I’m sorry. I was just thinking.’

‘What about?’ she didn’t really mean to ask the question, but it slipped out before she could stop herself.

Gilbert tugged lightly at the loose strands of hair coiling at the end of her long coppery braid. ‘Perhaps I’ll tell you some other time, after I’ve thought it out properly,’ his voice was low, and Anne felt her cheeks go red. She swallowed hard and nodded, turning away from him quickly. Why was her body so unreliable? It had no business making her feel so weak just because of something Gilbert Blythe said or refused to say. Anne felt herself getting irrationally angry with both herself and him. She proceeded to take long strides in the direction of the shortcut to Green Gables. 

‘I’ll walk you home.’ Gilbert appeared at her side after she had barely taken a few steps. 

‘Don’t you have anything better to do?’ she snorted. ‘You’ve wasted quite enough time on me today.’

He frowned. ‘Why would you say that? I don’t consider spending time with you wasting it, and you know that, Anne.’

She sighed. ‘I do. I’m sorry. I’m just tired.’ She gave him an apologetic, sideways smile. ‘You really have made me feel better, Gil. I suppose I did overreact a bit over the whole situation.’

‘You did not, Anne. You have a perfect right to be bitter about Billy saying such beastly, untrue things to you. There is no excusing his behaviour. All I’m saying is that you oughtn’t to take it so much to heart as far as... well, as far as romantic experience goes. A person like you is sure to get her fill of that sooner or later.’ His tone was impersonal, and he wasn’t even looking at Anne as he said this, but she blushed nonetheless. 

‘Right now I feel I never want anyone to propose to me ever again,’ she laughed awkwardly. ‘It is not at all what I have led myself to expect.’

‘That’s because Billy’s a moron, and should have known better than to go anywhere near you,’ he said, his voice sharp and tinted with such genuine anger that she looked up in surprise. His lips were pursed and his brows furrowed.

‘I told him as much today,’ she said in a would-be indifferent voice. ‘I’m not sure he took it in, though. But I don’t want to talk about him and what happened any more, Gil. It makes me want to punch something. And it doesn’t seem to be a subject you enjoy discussing either.’

To her surprise, he scoffed. ‘And why’d you think is that, Anne? Because I told him six years ago to stay away from you, and yet he kept pestering you whenever he had the chance. And now he has the nerve to go and say such things to your face,’ he took a deep breath and looked down at Anne, who stood gazing at his sudden outburst in bewilderment. 

‘Don’t look like that, Carrots,’ his expression softened and he tugged at her braid again. 

‘It’s just that I don’t want you getting angry on my account, and over something so insignificant too,’ she said, looking down at where his fingers were closed around her hair.  
‘You have problems enough of your own.’

‘It’s not insignificant if it makes you miserable, as you just admitted it does.’

She sighed in resignation. ‘Let’s just let it go, Gilbert.’ She bit her lip and looked up into his eyes through the gathering dusk. Then, urged by a sudden impulse, she rose up on tiptoe and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. ‘Thanks again. You’re a good friend,’ she whispered, pulling away, her face mere centimetres from his. ‘Goodnight, Gil.’ 

With that, she turned away abruptly and run down the hill to where the gate to Green Gables showed white in the grayness of the evening.

Gilbert raised his hand slowly to the spot where her lips had been pressed. His face was more serious now than it had been in her presence. He looked, in fact, rather miserable as well as angry. Was Anne really old enough already to receive offers of marriage? Of course she was; after all, she was Diana’s age, and Diana had been engaged to Jerry Baynard since two months ago. Anne was practically an adult woman now – she was nineteen, and she was so unique and extraordinary in both character and looks that it was only a matter of time until another candidate to her hand came along and tried his luck. A candidate who might possibly be less unwelcome than Billy Andrews. 

The thought made him feel rather sick. 

Also, Billy Andrews had had trouble coming his way for a long time now, and this time he had overstepped every possible mark.


	2. proposal 2

Anne was an imaginative person by nature. As a child, she had always liked making things up, pretending she found herself in strange, romantic, adventure-filled situations. As a girl of nineteen, she still indulged in daydreaming from time to time.

Now, as she sat with her arms hugging her knees by the little stream at the edge Mr Hammond’s field, she wondered whether it was possible that she had started having day-nightmares instead of daydreams. Because what had happened this afternoon seemed positively nightmarish, and yet she knew she had been awake at the time: she had pinched herself until the spot by the crook of her elbow was blue.

What had happened was that a little after four o'clock in the afternoon Charlie Sloane came knocking at the front door of Green Gables, looking as lop-eared and goggly-eyed as ever, and then calmly proceeded to ask Anne for her hand in marriage. At first Anne thought it was all a monstrous misunderstanding. This made Charlie rather vehement, and then, as Anne declared unfalteringly that she could not possibly accept him now or ever, he turned offended. He encouraged Anne to reconsider her rejection of him, informing her that this was probably her only chance to join the ranks of a family as old and respectable as the Sloane clan. Not everyone, he argued, would be willing to admit into their midst a person of such dubious origins and with next to no dowry. The whole unsavoury incident culminated in Anne practically throwing him out of the house. 

And all this within less than a mere fortnight since the Billy Andrews affair! 

Was there some kind of scheme developed by her old schoolmates with the aim of driving her insane and making it impossible for her to socialise with any of them on a friendly basis ever again? Or was it just the natural tragicomical quality of life asserting its hold on her?

‘Why don’t they go propose to Ruby instead? It was her goal, not mine, to reject as many offers as possible before she could—‘ she stopped, throwing herself back onto the damp ground and closing her eyes. ‘Never mind, Anne. There is no danger of your driving that particular person mad in this particular way. You’d better get that notion firmly established in that silly head of yours. Your silly, stubborn, blundering, intolerable, ugly, impertinent, ridiculous, inane, asinine, half-witted, brainless—‘

‘I really must stop you, Anne.’ She bolted upright and saw, to her utter dismay, Gilbert Blythe approach her from the direction of the road to the train station. ‘Those are enough insults to last whoever they are aimed at a lifetime. Also, I’d never have thought you could still be so vociferously judgemental,’ he chuckled, dropping down to the ground by Anne's side. ‘It seems to me that these days you prefer to keep most of your opinions to yourself.’

Momentarily distracted, Anne tapped her chin thoughtfully ‘Do I? Perhaps I do. Actually, although there has once been a time in my life when I’d gleefully insult anyone unfortunate enough to disagree with me, what you've just witnessed was only the second time that I've managed to come up with such a variegated array of insulting adjectives.’

‘That gives us an elite group of two individuals who have had the rare pleasure of having been faced with the heaviest barrage Anne Shirley’s verbal artillery can boast,’ he grinned. ‘Who are they? Perhaps they should get to know each other.’

‘They already do,’ laughed Anne. ‘The first one was a certain boy who thought it a good idea to tease me about the colour of my hair within about two hours of meeting me,’ she looked up at Gilbert, her eyes sparkling. 

Gilbert grinned. ‘He sounds desperate.’

Anne shook her head, smiling. ‘I don’t know. I was kind of asking for it. I kept ignoring him when he was just trying to be nice. But I still remember how when I came home from school that day I spoiled a perfectly good sheet of paper covering it from top to bottom with uncomplimentary adjectives describing that unfortunate classmate of mine.’ Anne’s tone was light-hearted, but as she finished saying this she heaved a mournful sigh. ‘Those were the days, Gil. Sometimes I wish I was that little girl again. Although she does seem unbearably annoying when I remember her now.’

‘She wasn’t – at least, she might have been, but only occasionally. Most of the time, though, she was resourceful and honest and fun to be around,’ he gave her a heart-warming smile. 

‘You should have complimented me like this back then,’ Anne giggled. ‘It would have been nice to know I didn’t seem quite as uniformly obnoxious to you – to people in general, I mean – as it sometimes seemed to me was the case.’

He quirked an eyebrow at her. ‘We both know you wouldn’t have let me say these kind of things to you. That first year of our acquaintance, you were off at the mere sight of me.’

‘That’s because you made me uncomfortable on purpose.’

‘As in, I congratulated you publicly on winning the spelling bee or scoring a hundred percent on a test?’ He pretended to speak in an offended tone, and Anne smiled. ‘See? There’s no escaping the truth. You would have avoided me even more consistently if I had started complimenting you on your personal traits instead of just on your intellectual accomplishments.’

‘Well, it’s nice to know in retrospect that there was another person besides Diana, Cole and Ruby who didn’t think me an out-and-out freak. It’s a testament to the amounts of patience you’ve got though, Gil – the fact that you didn’t just give up on me as a hopeless case sometime during that unfortunate first year.’ Suddenly, the thought that she would never have become friends with Gilbert if it hadn’t been for his perseverance made her feel as though she had missed a step while walking down a flight of stairs. Her face went pale. Then she realised Gilbert was saying something.

‘I suppose I was just as bad as you, Anne. I was too stubborn to simply admit defeat. And I was quite right to keep going, wasn’t I?’ he looked down at her and noticed the unnatural pallor of her face. ‘Are you all right, Anne?’ he queried in a concerned voice, instinctively putting a protective arm around her waist. Anne felt his touch burn into her skin through the thin fabric of her dress. She shivered.

‘N-no. I mean, yes, I’m fine. Really,’ she added in a firmer voice, as he continued to look genuinely worried. ‘It’s just a silly thought that I had.’ 

‘Just a thought? Form the way you looked it must have been a veritable monster of a thought. Are you sure you’re all right?’ he asked again. His arm was still wrapped around her waist, and she realised she was holding her breath. She let out a deep sigh. 

‘Do you want to hear who that other person is?’ she asked evasively, fidgeting a little in her spot. 

The feeling of warmth pervading her body disappeared as he withdrew his arm. ‘What other person?’ he asked a little absent-mindedly.

‘The person you've heard me abusing out loud just now. It was me,’ she said, shading her eyes with her hand and looking away from him and towards the late afternoon sun. 

When she turned back around his face was serious. ‘And why was that?’

‘Because I wonder sometimes whether I bring misfortunes on myself by being such a terrible person, or whether it’s just the way my life is meant to be,’ she said in a would-be unconcerned voice.

He frowned. ‘You really should stop saying those things, Anne. Unless my contradicting them helps you believe they aren’t true, in which case I’m happy to oblige.’

Anne was a bit taken aback by the cross way in which he had spoken. Her bewilderment must have shown in her face, for he laughed a short, strained laugh, and said in a more relaxed tone,

‘Don’t look so horrified, Anne. What I mean is that it just makes me angry when you talk badly about yourself. I’d rather not believe you really think along such lines.’

‘Well, but—‘ she stopped and furrowed her forehead. ‘But you know me well enough, Gil, to realise that I have my faults. A whole lot of them, actually.’

He sighed impatiently. ‘Everyone has faults, Anne. You wouldn’t be you if you suddenly became perfectly virtuous. And it’s you I want to be friends with, not some picture-perfect angelic creature.’

Anne propped her chin on her hands and stared out at the rippling water, not knowing how to respond. She could feel Gilbert’s eyes scanning her face, and felt for the moment unable to meet them. She shivered again. 

‘Here, take this,’ she felt Gilbert fidget beside her and put his jacket over her shoulders.

‘No, I’m—‘ she began, but then realised she was not capable of accounting for the real cause of her shivers. 

‘Come on up, I’ll walk you home,’ he hauled himself up and put out his hand. She let him help her get to her feet and found herself hoping, quite against her better judgement, that he wouldn’t loosen his grasp on her fingers right away. When he didn’t, she felt warmth spread all over her body. 

They walked on in silence for a bit, their interlocked hands swinging between them.

‘I’m all in, and I still have to go meet Charlie,’ remarked Gilbert eventually in a casual tone, and Anne felt her heart give a lurch. Unconsciously, she tightened her hold on Gilbert’s fingers.

‘Charlie Sloane?’ she asked in a small, squeaky voice.

Gilbert looked at her with raised eyebrows. ‘How many other Charlies do we know? Anne, what’s the matter?’ She felt her lips tremble and a treacherous tear slid down her face.

‘This is a nightmare, Gilbert. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to tell anyone, but I have to now, or else Charlie will give you his side of the story first, and that might give you a completely wrong idea of what has really happened.’ She was sobbing now, but she forced herself to look Gilbert straight in the eyes. ‘Charlie Sloane proposed to me this afternoon,’ she blurted out.

Gilbert’s eyes went wide and he dropped her hand. She folded her arms across her chest and dropped her gaze to the grass between their feet.

‘Are—are you serious, Anne?’ His voice was colourless.

‘It was just too terrible for words, Gil,’ Anne sobbed, tears streaming down her cheeks. ‘It feels like I’m trapped in some grotesque nightmare. Soon I’ll be scared to talk to any of the boys I used to know at school.’ She saw Gilbert’s jaw clench and squeaked out before she could stop herself, ‘Don’t be angry with me, Gilbert! It isn’t my fault, and it’s not like I wanted any of this to happen!’

‘No, no, Anne, I’m not angry... with you,’ he said, gently placing his hands on her shoulders. ‘It’s just that I hate to see you so upset. It shouldn’t be... like this,’ his tone was back to normal, and when she looked up at his face it was serious, but no longer so terribly tense. ‘It’s... I suppose it’s only natural that you should receive offers of marriage—‘ 

‘No, it isn’t, it isn’t,’ Anne put in, her voice choked with sobs. ‘I do hate it so much, Gil. It is all so terribly unpleasant. Charlie got bitter when I refused him and said things that hurt me, and then I practically threw him out of the house. And now we won’t even be able to meet without it being all awkward and awful. One more accident like this, and you and Cole will be the only boys in whose company I’ll ever be able to feel at ease.’ She gave him a pale little smile through her tears. 

For a few seconds his expression turned into an unreadable mixture of some strong emotions. Then he smiled back, and pulled her into a tight hug. They stayed like that for a few moments, silent.

‘I wish I were a girl again,’ Anne said more calmly, breathing in the scent of his shirt. ‘Half-savage and hardy, and free.’

‘Savage? Surely that’s a bit of an exaggeration? You were never savage,’ Gilbert chuckled into her hair.

‘That was a quote,’ she pulled away from him, absent-mindedly wiping her face on the sleeve of his jacket. ‘Gilbert, I’m terribly sorry you’ve had to see me wallow in despair once more. I certainly hope it won’t happen again.’ She put her hands up and pressed them to her flushed cheeks. ‘I hate proposals. They are the wretchedest thing in the world. They spoil everything.’

Gilbert looked at her with an amused little smile. ‘Surely if it’s someone you like who proposes to you, it can’t be all that bad?’

‘How should I know? Ask Diana. She’s been lucky enough to have been asked by the person she liked before anyone else could butt in and ruin the word ‘proposal’ for her forever. Ruby’s been asked a few times already as well, but she’s glad about it. She has always said that it was her goal to have as many people propose to her as possible before she—‘ Anne clamped a hand to her mouth and looked at Gilbert, her eyes wide with sudden realisation. Why, why must she always go on blabbering like that in front of him?

‘Before she what?’ Gilbert prompted with a puzzled expression.

‘Well, before she accepted the person she really likes. You see,’ Anne went on quickly, ‘the idea is to drive the boy she likes crazy with seeing all the other men propose to her.’

Gilbert raised his eyebrows. ‘Well, I suppose it’s a tactics with some logic to it. Is it working?’ he asked in an amused voice.

‘I... I don’t think it is – at least, not exactly. It seems such a foolish thing to do anyway...’ Anne’s voice trailed off as she stopped to lean on the fence surrounding the Green Gables backyard. Gilbert stood opposite her, looking above her shoulder and into the distant fields. Anne heaved a deep sigh, and Gilbert’s gaze flitted back to her. His eyes scanned her face intently for a moment. 

‘I’ll be fine,’ she said, smiling up at him a bit wanly. ‘After all, I’m no longer holding it all in now that I’ve told you, am I?’ She frowned. ‘I am sorry I keep bothering you with my problems, Gil. But it is such a relief to talk to someone sympathetic.’

‘Don’t even mention it. You know I like to keep up with all the different scrapes you get yourself into.’ Anne pretended to scoff, and he smiled, and then continued reluctantly. ‘I wish I didn’t have to go yet, but I have been away from home for the last three days and I really need to check on Bash.’ He took her hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. She returned it, and they stayed like that for a moment, gazing into each other’s eyes. Anne bit her lip, and saw Gilbert’s Adam’s apple bob up and down. Sudden panic seized her. She fairly tore her hand out of his grasp and made to remove his jacket from her shoulders. 

‘No, keep it,’ he said quickly, moving a step back and away from her. ‘You’ll be cold. It’s getting windy.’

‘Thank you.’ She shivered, looking down at the ground. ‘I’d better be off before it starts raining.’ She risked a glance at his face and her heart gave an ominous lurch at the disappointment she saw there – or thought she did. Before she could stop herself she hugged him quickly, fleetingly, putting one arm around his neck lightly. ‘I’m sorry, Gil,’ she mumbled into his shoulder. ‘Don’t be angry with me.’

‘Anne, wait!’ he made a move to stop her, but by the time he had recovered his balance she was already behind the gate. She turned around and waved goodbye. ‘I’ll see you soon?’ he asked in a slightly raised voice, and she nodded. 

He stood with his hands in his pockets, looking after her until she disappeared behind the trees.


	3. proposal 3; then, something different happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An enormous thank-you to all of you who've read, left kudos, and commented on this silly little piece of Shirbert fanfiction! :D This is the first time I've ever posted anything of the kind, and I am honestly so grateful for the positive response. In the words of Gilbert Blythe, Bless you, my angel(s)! :D
> 
> I hope this last chapter doesn't disappoint you too much. I realise I could have taken the story a little further, but this has always been intended to be a short fic. 
> 
> This said, I have the draft of a fic which I'd written before this one, and even though it's even more soppy I think I might try to edit it a little and post it sometime soon. We'll see.
> 
> Thank you again, and have fun watching the Shirbert ship set sail! :D

As July turned into August, Anne began to believe she was safe from unwelcome matrimonial offers, if not for the next five years (which she thought she'd prefer), then at least until the end of summer. She was, however, proven wrong in her optimistic assumption before the first half of the month was over. 

She was walking home from Ms. Stacy’s, having spent a delightful day discussing her dreams and aspirations with her much-admired teacher. It was a beautiful day in the second week of August: harvest-time was drawing to a close, and the whole surrounding countryside was hung thick with ripe fruit. Humming a little tune to herself, Anne emerged with a buoyant step from the narrow wooded path onto the main road. Suddenly, she heard someone call her name. She turned around and, to her surprise, found herself face to face with the Reverend Mr. Adams, the new vicar. He approached Anne with a smug, complacent smile, his whole attitude one of unruffled self-assurance. In a pompous, mincing voice, he declared that there was a question of the utmost importance that he had to pose to “fair Miss Shirley”. At first, Anne thought he wanted simply to ask for her assistance in collecting money for some devout purpose or another. To her unspeakable dismay, she soon realised that he was asking for her hand in marriage. 

Anne didn’t know whether the correct reaction was to burst into tears or laughter. At first she tried to be as polite about refusing the ridiculous, middle-aged, paunchy man – he was, after all, a person of considerable standing in the local community – as her utter confusion would permit. However, Mr. Adams was so sure of himself, and continued to refuse to take Anne’s “no” for an answer so persistently, that eventually she snapped and uttered impolite words which she didn’t even have the energy afterwards to wish she had left unsaid. All sense of dignity had left her. She just wished was old enough already to be safe from proposals for eternity.

When she had finally succeeded in making Mr. Adams understand that she really didn’t harbour the secret wish to become mistress of the Avonlea manse, she turned her back on the way to Green Gables and ran, blinded with tears, to the only place where she thought she could possibly find comfort at the moment – Hester Gray’s garden. Once there, she threw herself onto the little stone seat and wept hot, bitter tears of humiliation and anger. She felt as though her heart would break with misery. Did this really have to keep happening to her? Why, she wouldn’t even be able to participate in Mass now without feeling embarrassed to the very core of her being! 

‘I hate life,’ she declared in a choked voice, raising her tear-streaked face to the serene summer sky and looking into its azure depths with rancour. ‘I hate life. I used to think nothing could make me hate it, but I think it has happened now.’

‘I’m sure that’s not possible,’ remarked a quiet voice behind her. Anne’s only coherent thought as she heard and recognised it was that she would gladly pay whatever it may cost for the earth underneath her feet to open up and just swallow her whole already. What were the odds in favour of his finding her in this kind of situation not once, not twice, but thrice? And yet there he was again! Was it fate? Or was it simply bad luck? 

‘Gilbert, I really need you to leave me alone this time,’ she said without turning around, her voice raspy with prolonged weeping. ‘The last two times were bad enough, but this...’ She hid her face in her hands and mumbled, ‘I wish I could wake up and find it’s June again and none of this has happened yet!’

She heard the crunch of Gilbert’s shoes on the dry ground as he approached her, and then felt his warm fingers close around her wrists and gently draw her hands away from her face. He was crouching in front of her, a worried, earnest expression on his face.

‘I wish I could take you back in time too, Anne, and manage it so that your first and only proposal could be something you’d remember forever as one of the happiest moments of your life,’ he said quietly, keeping her hands covered with one of his in her lap and gently brushing her tears away with the other one. ‘I’d give anything not to have to see you cry your heart out like this.’

‘I know I’m stupid, but it seems like there’s some kind of monstrous conspiracy going on!’ she sobbed, half-consciously freeing one of her hands from his grasp and using it to draw away from her face the fingers whose touch seemed to burn her skin. ‘You’ll never guess who it was this time. No, wait, I don’t even want you to guess,’ she said as he opened his mouth to speak. She moved a little to the side, letting go of his hands, and he dropped down onto the seat beside her. ‘It was the vicar, Mr. Adams.’ 

Gilbert stared, his cheeks getting slightly red. ‘The vicar? But he’s – he’s old, and—‘ 

Anne smiled wanly. ‘Of course he’s old. A disgusting, stuck-up old man! I wouldn’t lay one finger on him if he was the last man left on the planet. But he’s a vicar all the same; he has ways of making life unpleasant for me. And he let me know he won’t hesitate to use them, either.’

‘Anne, this is madness. It can’t go on like this.’ Gilbert’s voice was hard and strained.

She looked at him miserably. ‘Of course it can. Who is to stop anyone who takes a fancy to it from proposing to me, and then taking it out on me if I refuse?’

‘Me.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ she scoffed, but there was something in the way he looked at her that made her shiver. ‘You can’t possibly lie in ambush on my threshold, waiting to trip up prospective suitors,’ she strived to keep her voice light-hearted, but it came out squeaky instead.

‘I can do something much more effective than that. Something I should have done months ago.’ Anne’s eyes were by now riveted to Gilbert’s face, which had suddenly gone rather pale. His expression, however, was wholly unhesitant. He took her tear-streaked face between his hands and kissed her.

It was a tentative kiss – slow, sweet and gentle. Anne, tingling all over with pleasure, hummed against Gilbert’s lips and wound her arms around his neck, drawing herself flush against him. He moaned quietly, and Anne felt the pressure of his kiss increase. She sighed and parted her lips a little, and this acted like spark to cinder on Gilbert. She felt the tip of his tongue touch hers, and thought she must surely go mad with the currents of electricity that seemed to sweep over her entire body. Her nails dug into the nape of his neck, trying to bring him closer. Eventually, Anne felt the urgency of Gilbert’s lips on hers let up a little. He pulled away and rested his forehead against hers. They stayed silent for a few moments, their eyes shut, both of them breathing rather hard. Then Gilbert put up a hand to her cheek and drew away a little more so as to be able to see her better. 

Anne was so overwhelmed by the unfamiliar, intense emotions roused in her by Gilbert’s kiss that she felt unable to do anything but sit very still and smile into his lovely dark eyes. Gilbert stroked her cheek gently, smiling back. Then he took her right hand in both of his again, and brought it to his lips, kissing it with reverence. She thought her heart must burst with happiness or simply stop beating altogether any minute now, but she didn’t care.

‘Anne, you know – I’m sure you know – that I love you. Will you let me– let me vow I’ll love you forever, and respect you, and take care of you? Let me swear to all that in front of a person qualified to make our vows official, so that we may belong to each other in the eyes of the law?’

His voice started out fairly calm, but when he got to the word “love” it broke a little and afterwards his words came out rushed and fervent. His eyes never left Anne’s. When he had finished, they continued to gaze at each other in silence for a few moments more. Then, her voice a mere whisper, Anne said,

‘Gilbert Blythe, did you just manage to propose to me without once using the words “marry”, “hand”, “promise”, "honour", “wife”, and all the rest of it?’

Gilbert swallowed hard, his eyes scanning Anne’s flushed face anxiously, taking in her starry eyes and her kisses-swollen lips. ‘This is our moment, Anne. This is different from what happened before. This is good, and right, and real.’ His voice was low and insistent.

Anne let out a strangled sob which, somehow, was at the same time a jittery laugh. Then she reached out with her free hand and touched Gilbert’s cheek. His eyes were so intense on hers she felt he saw right through her and into her very soul.

‘Then— I will, Gil,’ she whispered, her fingers hovering over his cheek. ‘And you are right. This is different. We’ve always been something different, haven’t we?’ she chuckled quietly, scooting up closer to him and cupping his face in her slender hands. ‘Dear, dearest Gil. You’ve made me so happy. Somehow, you always make me happy. I- I believe I love you too. I think I have loved you for some time now, but I was too afraid of getting my hopes up to admit it even to myself.’

Joy was positively emanating from Gilbert’s face. He leant in and caught Anne’s lips in a feather-light kiss. ‘You don’t have to be afraid of anything anymore, Anne. I swear I will always do my best to continue making you feel happy, and safe, and loved,’ he whispered against her lips. ‘My own lovely Anne. You know you’re my fiancée now, right? As in, officially. The official future Mrs Anne Blythe.’ There was a note of astonishment in his voice as he uttered the words, as though he could barely get his head around the idea.

Anne smiled against his warm lips, her heart singing with joy at his words and the honesty with which he uttered them. ‘I like being yours,’ she murmured, placing small kisses along the line of Gilbert's jaw. ‘And I like thought of you being my fiancé very much as well. In fact, I like everything about you, Mr. Blythe.’ She looked into his eyes. The love she saw within their dappled depths made her tremble, but this time it was a shiver of joy and anticipation that ran through her, not one of nervous tension. ‘And I like being with you like this,’ she added, nestling into the crook of his shoulder.

He chuckled quietly, and she could feel his laughter reverberate through her own body. The sensation was positively glorious. 

‘I do too,’ he whispered into her hair, kissing it. ‘Carrots.’


End file.
